Are you tired of feeling like you're perpetually on edge? Do you wish you could just... relax? Well, wish no more! Our techniques are designed to help you achieve the state of calm you never knew you wanted, but now desperately need.
Side effects may include: feeling calm, reduced stress levels, an increased sense of well-being, and an intense craving for more of our techniques. Prolonged use may lead to permanent relaxation, which can be hazardous to your social life and productivity.
Not responsible for any feelings of tranquility, peace, or happiness that may result from the use of our techniques. Use at your own risk (of becoming too relaxed to do anything productive).