Offseason Quiet Time Schedule

Quiet Time has officially begun. All employees are required to participate in our annual tradition of doing absolutely nothing.

Please report to the break room for a mandatory meeting on the art of staring at the wall.

We will be serving a selection of stale, leftover snacks from last season. Please help yourself.

Important:

• The break room will be stocked with an assortment of dust bunnies and old newspapers.
• The coffee machine will be turned off, but the tea machine will still be on. Don't ask why.
• Any noise louder than 50 decibels will be met with stern looks and possible disciplinary action.

For more information on the history of Offseason Quiet Time, visit:

Don't forget to turn off your computer and log off your phone. We're not paying for that.