99-Cent T-Shirt Scheme

Welcome to the most epic of schemes: buying a 99-cent t-shirt that will make you the laughing stock of your social circle!

Here's how it works:

1. Find us in the back of a rundown strip mall, between the abandoned arcade and the pawn shop.
2. Pay us a single 99 cents for a shirt that's been worn by our 'model' (aka our cousin's cousin's brother)
3. We'll give you a 10% chance of getting a free upgrade to a slightly-less-worn-out shirt (our 'deluxe' model)
4. We'll also include a 50% chance of getting a 'limited edition' t-shirt that's been through the wash 5 times and still has a faint scent of despair.

Don't miss out on this opportunity to own a shirt that's almost-as-good-as-a-garbage-bag! Visit our other schemes page for more 'deals'!

Side Effects:

Side effects may include, but are not limited to:

• Spontaneous combustion of social status
• Sudden and irreversible loss of fashion sense
• Temporary (or permanent) loss of dignity

Don't say we didn't warn you... What happens next?