SCISSOR INOPERATION
A Surgical Strike of Bad Luck

It seems we had a bit of a snafu in the operating theater. Our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated surgeons managed to turn a routine procedure into a full-blown catastrophe.

What Happened:

• Dr. "Cutting" Commentator, our lead surgeon, got his tie caught in the patient's hairpiece, causing a 4-minute delay.
• The anesthesiologist, Dr. "Pain"killer, accidentally ordered 10x the amount of anesthesia needed, putting the patient in a coma.
• The patient's vitals were read by Dr. "Vital" Signs, who was too busy playing Candy Crush to actually check the patient's pulse.

Aftermath:

• The patient is currently in a state of suspended animation, awaiting a miracle.
• Dr. Commentator is still stuck in the patient's hairpiece.
• Dr. Painkiller has been put on administrative leave, pending a thorough investigation into his ordering habits.

Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story.

For prophets and analysts: Read Part 2 of this saga For family and friends of the patient: Patient update For those seeking to understand the surgeon's perspective: Surgeon's interviews