It's because, quite frankly, we're prophets of doom. We're the ones who said, "Hey, let's put a machine that spews hot liquid into every room, and we'll never leave the house again."
We're not just talking about any coffee machine, we're talking about Brewing the Doom. It's a marvel of modern science, with its hissing valves, steam-pipes, and an unrelenting march towards caffeine-fueled despair.
We've tried to turn it off, we really have. But it just won't stop. Like a bad relationship, it just won't let us go. Why We Can't Just Turn It Off
And so, here we are: a nation of sleep-deprived zombies, shambling through the streets, fueled by the dark magic of the What Happens When You Get Your Coffee Fix.