Time Thefts: A Chronological Account

Welcome to the Time Thefts, a comprehensive guide to the most brazen, most egregious, and most utterly bewildering temporal heists in human history.

Prehistoric Era (1-3 million BCE)

It's not every day you hear about a time theft involving ancient cavepeople, but here's one for you:

300,000 BCE: 1 Million BCE Heist - A group of Neanderthals steal a mammoth's lunch from a rival clan.
500,000 BCE: 500k BCE Heist - A caveman steals a saber-toothed tiger's hide to make a fashionable fur coat.

From ancient empires to modern-day mayhem, these time theifs are the real deal:

400 BCE: 400 BCE Heist - A Greek thief steals a few precious hours of the sun god's time, causing a temporal rift that still affects modern Greek bureaucracy.

From Cold War-era time travel to present-day social media addiction, these time theifs have got us in a pickle:

1960s: 60s Heist - A time traveler steals a few minutes from the Berlin Wall's construction schedule, causing it to go up a few hours earlier than planned.
2010s: 10s Heist - A social media influencer steals a day's worth of followers from their rival, only to find out they're not even popular in the real world.