The Lamentations of Lobbyist Larry

It's a tough job, folks. Day in and day out, Larry's stuck in a world where the only thing that matters is who you know, not what you know. He's a master of the dark arts of influence, but even he can't escape the crushing ennui of it all.

"I'm a professional, I swear," he says with a wink. "I've got connections, I've got pull, I've got a really nice suit."