Section 7: Cookies and Tracking Technologies

Because who needs personal space, anyway?

Our team of highly trained Privacy Invasion Squad has been working tirelessly to ensure that your every move is tracked, monitored, and cataloged for your convenience (and our advertisers' benefit).

We use only the most cutting-edge technologies, including but not limited to:

• CookieMonster.js - A JavaScript library that ensures every click, hover, and scroll is recorded and stored in our vast server databases.
• EyeSpy - A system that uses AI-powered image recognition to identify and analyze every image you upload to our site.
• GeoTracker - A device that uses GPS and geolocation data to pinpoint your exact location, even when you're just browsing the internet in your pajamas.

We're not just tracking you, we're observing you. And we're not just observing, we're predicting your behavior.

Want to know more about our methods? Click here to learn more about our advanced techniques.

Or, if you're feeling particularly brave, you can tell us why you don't want to be tracked.

We'll just ignore you, of course.

Or, better yet, we'll just tell you about the cookies that we've placed on your machine. They're not for our eyes only, we promise.