As per directive 42, subsection 5, article 7, all users are required to wear a pair of novelty mustaches at all times while on the premises. Failure to comply will result in immediate termination of all privileges and possible forced watching of an endless loop of elevator music.
See Appendix for more information on the proper care and feeding of your mustache.
Subsection 3: B-Section, where all the really important details live.