What If I Become a Vampire?

Ugh, another existential crisis.

Pros:

  • Immortality (yay, no more deadlines!)
  • No more awkward morning after photos
  • Forever night owl hours
  • Garlic bread for life

Cons:

  • Must move to a creepy old mansion in the middle of nowhere
  • Can't go to the dentist
  • Forever stuck in a never-ending cycle of angst and despair
  • Must drink blood (no more wine and cheese nights)