Are you feeling lost, hopeless, and on the brink of collapse? Do you find yourself wondering why your life is such a mess?
Don't worry, friend, you're not alone. Our expert team of highly trained, utterly unqualified self-help specialists are here to guide you through the darkest depths of your soul.
Click here for Crisis Mode, where we'll walk you through the art of pretending everything will be okay while secretly sobbing in a corner.
Or, if things are really bad, click here for Self-Destruct – we're pretty sure that's a thing.
And for the love of all things sane, please don't forget to contact us for help before it's too late.