Self-Help 101

Step 1: Wake up. Repeat as necessary.

• Make a to-do list. Cross items off with a Sharpie.
• Drink coffee. Lots of coffee.
• Yell at yourself for not being more productive.

And for when that doesn't work:

Consult the experts: Google and Wikipedia

Or just stare at a wall for 4 hours.

For bonus points: Pretend you're a functioning adult for a friend's Instagram story.

Or, you know, just be yourself and own it.