How to Make a Bad First Impression

Step 1: Walk into the room with a loud, obnoxious laugh. This will immediately draw attention to you, but not in a good way.

Subtle Suggestion 1: Wear a bright orange jumpsuit with white polka dots.

This will scream to everyone in the room that you're trying too hard. Bonus points if you pair it with a "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt.

Learn more about the perils of over-accessorizing

Step 2: Talk about yourself nonstop.

Share your entire life story with anyone who will listen, including strangers, coworkers, and your therapist. This will make them wonder if you're trying to fill a void or just plain delusional.

Read our guide on how to talk about yourself for hours on end without getting any actual sleep

Step 3: Show up late, unprepared, and completely unapologetic.

Bonus Tip: Bring a boombox and play your favorite elevator music.

This will ensure that everyone in the room immediately forgets what you're there for and instead focus on your questionable musical tastes.

Get expert advice on curating the perfect setlist for your coworkers' worst nightmare

And that's it! Follow these steps, and you too can make a bad first impression that will be remembered for years to come.

Learn how to recover from a bad first impression (just kidding, it's too late for that)