Warning Signs of Identity Theft
- Unsolicited credit card offers in your mail
- Unexplained transactions on your bank statement
- Your bank account is suddenly empty, but you still have a sweet 401k
- Someone knows your deepest secrets (but only the first 5 letters of your password)
What to Do
- Contact your bank and scream at them until they listen
- Change all your passwords to something completely random (but not as random as your ex's love life)
- Get a P.O. box and start living like a paranoid spy
- Learn to love yourself, because you're the only one you can trust (after you've changed all your passwords)
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