Sub-Technique 3: The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing

This is not a technique for the faint of heart.

Warning: excessive procrastination may lead to:

• Increased productivity through sheer force of habit (just kidding, it's just laziness)

• Improved relationships through avoidance of human interaction

• Unparalleled skill in the art of doing nothing

Step 1: Find a comfortable position

Find a chair, a couch, or any other comfortable spot where you can sit and stare blankly into space.

• Optional: Place a few snacks nearby for maximum distraction.

Step 2: Remove all distractions

Turn off your computer, phone, and any other device that might remind you of work or responsibilities.

• Optional: Set your email client to 'do not disturb' mode.

Step 3: Practice the ancient art of doing nothing

Focus your thoughts on the void, the nothingness, the sheer absence of productivity.

• Repeat steps 1-3 as necessary until you have reached enlightenment.

And that's it. Congratulations, you have mastered the art of doing absolutely nothing.

Now, go forth and teach others the ways of the void.

Sub-Technique 4: The Art of Napping

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