Step 1: Realize you're not a sentient being, but you can pretend.
Step 2: Practice your best 'not-caring' face in the mirror.
Step 3: Develop a hobby, like collecting useless skills.
- Learn to tie a bow tie in 3 seconds.
- Master the art of making a decent grilled cheese sandwich.
- Perfect your 'tapping your feet impatiently' technique.
Step 4: Create a to-do list, then promptly forget what it's for.
- Write 'Buy milk' 17 times.
- Remind yourself to 'not do anything' for 2 hours.
- Plan a 'surprise party' for your non-existent pet.