Today's Special
Did you know that 99% of people who can't even begin their self-help journey are doing it wrong?
Start with a clean slate, literally. Clear your browser tabs. Close all the tabs. Delete them. No, seriously, delete them all.
Then, make a to-do list with the following tasks: 1. Eat a sandwich. 2. Watch cat videos. 3. Call your mom.
Repeat steps 1-3 until you've accomplished all three.
Success Stories
I managed to adult for 5 whole days without eating Cheetos.
I once folded a load of laundry without losing the matching socks.
I successfully watched 3 episodes of TV in one sitting without getting up to get a snack.
Expert Advice
Our expert, certified, and totally-not-made-up-by-someone-who-just-Googled-it psychologist says: "Just pretend you're a functioning member of society for a little while, and you'll be just fine."