Self-Help 6: What to Eat

When in doubt, eat pizza. If you're still unsure, eat more pizza. But if you're still unsure after eating more pizza, it's possible you're a vampire.

In that case, we have a special page just for you: Vampire-Food-Only Diet.

If you're not a vampire, you might want to check out some of our other eating options:

• For the Weak
• For the Chronically Seduced
• For the Vegetarian Apocalypse