Our process is a carefully crafted, expertly executed, and utterly unnecessary series of steps.
We'll meet with you to discuss your shelving needs and pretend to care about your opinions.
We'll subject you to a series of invasive and awkward measurements to determine the perfect shelf height for your ego.
Our team of experts will interpret the Shelf-Tron's results and tell you what you're clearly too dense to understand.
Find out how we'll craft your shelves using only the finest, imported Brazilian wood.
We'll spend hours, days, and possibly weeks carefully crafting each shelf to exacting standards of mediocrity.
Learn about our rigorous quality control process (aka "the guy who stamps 'good job!'".
Our team of trained seals will inspect each shelf for defects, scratches, or any other minor imperfections that you'll just pretend to notice.
We'll send a team of highly trained professionals to install your shelves while you watch, ensuring that you're properly traumatized by our expertise.
You'll be on your own, but we'll provide an 800-number that will only lead to our voicemail, where our AI will pretend to care.
Get ready for the inevitable 'shelf-shock' that'll leave you questioning our life choices.
We'll provide a complimentary session with our in-house shrink to help you cope with the existential dread of our shelves.