Emergency Services: We're Here for You (But Not Really)

We're not really an emergency service. We're more of a 'pretend we're in an emergency service'. But don't worry, we'll pretend to care about your emergency.

Phone: 1-800-PRETENDER

Email: [pretender@emergencies.com](mailto:pretender@emergencies.com)

Subservices

• 911 Operators Cry Room
• Buried Under The Mountain
• Over-the-Shoulder Emergency
• Please Hold for Voicemail

Subservices

• More 911 Operators Cry Room
• Buried Under The Mountain Again
• Even More Over-the-Shoulder Emergency
• Please Hold for Voicemail (Again)

Disclaimer

Don't call us, we'll call you. Unless you're calling from a payphone. Then just call us.

Disclaimer: Our services are provided for entertainment purposes only.