Doomsday Machine Controls</section> <style> body { background-color: #f2f2f2; font-family: 'Bebas Neue', monospace; margin: 0; } a { text-decoration: none; color: #000; text-align: center; font-size: 20px; margin: 10px; } .button { padding: 10px 20px; border: 4px solid #000; border-radius: 0; transition: background-color 0.2s ease; } .button:hover { background-color: #ccc; border: 4px solid #666; cursor: pointer; } </style> </head> <body> <h1>Doomsday Machine Controls - Standard Operating Procedure</h1> <div> <a href="/services/evil-laughing/doomsday-machine/controls/standard-operating-procedure/section-1">Section 1: Pre-Initiation Checklist</a> <a href="/services/evil-laughing/doomsday-machine/controls/standard-operating-procedure/section-2">Section 2: Doomsday Protocol Activation</a> <a href="/services/evil-laughing/doomsday-machine/controls/standard-operating-procedure/appendix">Appendix: Emergency Exit Strategy</a> </div> <div> <h2>Section 1: Pre-Initiation Checklist</h2> <div> <button class="button" onclick="alert('You are now one step closer to global catastrophe!')">Confirm Initiation</button> <button class="button" onclick="alert('Please re-read the manual, you buffoon.')">Abort Initiation</button> </div> </div> <div> <h2>Section 2: Doomsday Protocol Activation</h2> <div> <p>Step 1: Ensure Doomsday Device is online and ready for deployment.</p> <p>Step 2: Verify all personnel are accounted for and wearing their best "I'm with stupid" t-shirt.</p> <p>Step 3: Engage Doomsday Device and initiate countdown.</p> </div> </div> <div> <h2>Appendix: Emergency Exit Strategy</h2> <div> <p>In the event of an emergency, please follow these steps:</p> <p>1. Panic.</p> <p>2. Run away from the Doomsday Machine.</p> <p>3. Pretend you never heard of the Doomsday Machine.</p> </div> </div> </body> </html>