Upon inspection, the client's living space was found to be a mess of epic proportions.
The furniture, a mishmash of designer labels and hand-me-downs, was arranged with all the finesse of a drunken sailor.
Our team of expertly trained, über-discerning professionals worked tirelessly to impose order on this chaotic landscape, ensuring every chair was precisely 4.2 inches from the wall, and every rug was perfectly aligned with the furniture.
Our inspection revealed:
- A 27" HDTV on a stand that's 1.5 inches from the floor (clearly, the client's eyesight is not what it used to be)
- A coffee table with 17 scratches from last week's 'I'm bored' party
- A vase with 3 different types of flowers, none of which are currently in bloom (we're looking at you, 'I'm a special snowflake')
- A collection of 12 designer handbags, all of which are being used as impromptu planters (we're not judging)
Recommendations:
- Consider investing in a professional organizer (hint: that's us)
- Avoid eating Cheetos on the couch
- Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not use your grandmother's good china as a coaster
- We recommend you consider therapy, but only if it's a high-end, private practice, with a focus on dealing with your 'I'm a special snowflake' issues
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