Individual Counseling Session Benefits

Get ready to have your mind blown by our expert therapists who will help you realize that you're not as special as you thought.

We'll swap sessions with you, because, why not? It's not like you're not going to be perfectly fine on your own, are you?

Our therapists are trained to make you feel heard, validated, and slightly annoyed. But hey, progress, right?

We have the following benefits:

1. You'll never have to deal with actual human emotions again!

• No more pesky empathy!
• No more guilt trips!
• No more feelings, period!

2. We'll provide you with the perfect amount of existential dread!

• The crushing realization that, no, you are not special.
• The dawning understanding that your choices matter!
• The terror of being accountable for your own actions!

3. We'll give you the gift of learned helplessness!

• You'll be an expert in the art of doing nothing!
• You'll know the value of a good nap!
• You'll understand the beauty of giving up!

Don't wait any longer! Get started today! or, you know, just go home and watch cat videos.