Overcoming the Unctable: A Line-Cutting Expert's Guide

A 4-Step Process to Cutting Through Life with Confidence

Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a line? Like, literally, stuck? Don't worry, friend, we've got you covered. At Line-Cutting Expertise, we've helped people overcome the uncuttable for years.

Step 1: Assess the Line

• Is it a line of people waiting for the bathroom at a music festival?
• Is it a line for a new iPhone release?
• Is it a line for a free taco Tuesday deal?

Step 2: Identify Your Motivators

• Are you a thrill-seeker, looking for a challenge?
• Are you on a mission to try every new taco flavor?
• Are you simply trying to get to the bathroom before you wet yourself?

Step 3: Choose Your Line-Cutting Strategy

• The Squeeze: Push your way through the line, like a human accordion
• The Dart: Make eye contact with the person in front of you and try to will them into moving
• The Distraction: Start talking to the person next to you, and hope they get bored and move

Step 4: Execute with Confidence (or Desperation)

Remember, it's not just about cutting the line, it's about making a statement. And, you know, getting to the bathroom.

Want to learn more about our expert line-cutting services? Click here.

Or, if you're feeling extra adventurous, check out our Line-Cutting Olympics.