Project Management for the Utterly Incompetent

Project management is an art form. Like a fine painting, it requires a delicate touch and a willingness to make bold, sweeping statements. Unfortunately, our office renovation project is more like a kindergartener's finger painting - messy, chaotic, and prone to random explosions of color.

But fear not, dear project managers! We have created a system to help guide you through the process. Below, you will find:

• Phases of Renovation: A Journey of a Thousand Decisions
• Phase 1: Design - Where Dreams Go to Die
• Phase 2: Construction - The Great Wall of Chaos
• Phase 3: Testing - Where We Find Out We Broke It
• Phase 4: Maintenance - The Never-Ending Cycle of Repairs

Remember, the key to success is to never give up, no matter how many times you have to redo the same thing over and over again. And always, always, always wear a hard hat.

Phase 1: Design

Phase 1 is where the magic happens. Or, you know, where the budget gets blown to hell.

• Concept: Where We Dream of What We Want
• Blueprints: Where We Try to Draw Straight Lines