Welcome to the Weekly Radiation Bulletin, where we bring you the latest updates on the most pressing issues affecting your local area.
View this week's radiation schedule
Check the radiation map for areas with high levels of radiation
This week's radiation levels are expected to be off the charts, with a predicted 300% increase in background radiation.
Stay safe, citizens!
Get your radiation safety mask here!
Order now and receive a free radiation badge!Price: $50.00 (includes free shipping and a complimentary bottle of radiation-repellent sunscreen)
The information provided is for entertainment purposes only. Please do not attempt to survive with your skin intact.