Welcome, team, to the most exciting announcements page ever made! John here, the self-proclaimed "Brutalism King" of our humble team. I hope this page finds you well. Or at least, as well as can be expected given the existential dread that comes with working for me.
Celebrate Our Victories, because let's face it, we've had some. Stay Up-to-Date on the Latest Team Drama, because, let's be real, that's always happening. And, of course, See Who's the Real MVP.
I'd like to announce that I've taken up a new hobby: Extreme Ironing. It's a real thing, I swear. View John's Grueling Ironing Schedule for more information.