Our Absurdist Sneakers Guarantee

We guarantee that our dysfunctional sole-matics will make you question everything, including your own sanity. Our shoes are designed to be so utterly baffling that you'll wonder if you're going crazy or if it's just the shoes.

Returns and Exchanges: Because We're Not Made of Money
Our Philosophy: Embracing the Absurdity
Our Testing Procedure: Because We're Not Really Sure What We're Doing