This toaster is not just a toaster, it's a statement piece. It's a conversation starter. It's a "I'm-a-guys-with-a-private-island-in-the-middle-of-the-Pacific-who-just-got-rich-from-the-stock-market" kind of thing.
Buy now and bask in the warm glow of utter uselessness! Specifications:• Inflatable, self-heating design means it's 99% sure to start a fire 99% of the time.
• Uses patented "Self-Heating-ium" technology, a substance so potent it's been banned from use in 17 countries.
• Comes with complimentary fire extinguisher, because you know you're going to need it.
Frequently Asked QuestionsQ: Will it actually make my toast?
A: No.
Q: Is it safe?
A: No.
Q: Will I be able to sell it on eBay for triple the price?
A: Maybe. If you're willing to risk getting sued for false advertising.