Welcome, citizens, to the Avocado Shortages Emergency Response Team (ASER). We're here to inform and entertain you about the very real, very dire situation facing our great nation: the Avocado Shortages of 2023.
It's a crisis of epic proportions, with avocado toast prices soaring higher than a trendy brunch spot's Instagram followers. The once-ubiquitous guacamole is now a distant memory, a relic of a bygone era when humans thought they could afford such frivolities.
But fear not, dear citizen, for ASER is on the scene, providing the most up-to-date information, analysis, and humorous takes on the situation. Click here for our comprehensive guide to coping with the shortage, including tips on making do with less, finding alternative uses for guacamole, and the best ways to invest in Avocado futures.
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