By the power vested in me, I hereby declare:
Article 1: All bread shall be shortbread, and shortbread shall be glorious!
Article 2: No bread shall be considered a bread unless it has a crunchy crust and a soft centre.
Article 3: All citizens of the Shortbread Kingdom are entitled to free shortbread on their birthdays, anniversaries, and Tuesdays.
Article 4: The penalty for non-compliance shall be a stern lecture and a lifetime supply of stale shortbread.