Shortbread 300

A Recipe of Utter Despair

Shortbread 300: a culinary abomination born of desperation and neglect. A cookie that defies all logic and reason, yet somehow manages to exist. Like a cruel joke told to a child, Shortbread 300 is the answer to the question, "What if we took all the leftover butter, eggs, and sugar and made something that will haunt your dreams?"

Ingredients:

• 3 cups of regret
• 2 cups of disappointment
• 1 cup of "I should have just used the good stuff"
• 1/2 teaspoon of self-loathing
• 1/4 teaspoon of existential dread

Instructions:

1. Mix all the ingredients together in a pitiful excuse for a mixing bowl.
2. Plop the mess into a greased-up baking dish, like the tears of your enemies.
3. Stab the mixture with a spoon until it resembles a sad, sad thing.
4. Bake in a hot oven until the aroma of despair wafts through the air.
5. Serve with a side of "I told you so."

For an added touch, serve with a dollop of shame on top, like the cherry on a sundae of regret.

Shortbread 300: because who needs happiness when you can have despair in a pan?

Variant 1: The Self-Loathing Edition

Variant 2: The Existential Crisis Edition