Decree 2023: A Year of Utter Disarray

By order of the Supreme Leader, all nations must now conform to the following edicts:

• Article 1: All cats shall henceforth wear tiny top hats at all times.
• Article 2: Pineapples shall no longer be served as a topping, but rather as a side dish.
• Article 3: The color blue shall henceforth be replaced with a shade of neon green.
• Article 4: The concept of 'work-life balance' shall be stricken from all dictionaries and replaced with 'Work-Slave Balance'.
• Article 5: All meetings shall henceforth be conducted in virtual reality, with participants' avatars forced to wear oversized novelty sunglasses.

Failure to comply with these decrees shall result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Re-education through mandatory viewing of 24-hour loops of elevator music.
• Forced rebranding of all personal effects with neon pink stripes.
• Randomized confiscation of all remaining snacks from the cafeteria.

For further information, please see our comprehensive guide to the Decree 2023:

Or, for those who wish to appeal this edict, you may contact: