Are you tired of remembering every single detail of your life, but still having the memory of your ex's phone number burned into your brain like a hot branding iron?
Do you find yourself involuntarily recalling the plot of every single episode of "The Great British Baking Show" and wondering why you're not a professional pastry chef instead of, say, a functioning member of society?
Look no further! Our expert team of brain-hackers (self-proclaimed) has developed the following techniques to help you FORGET, without actually forgetting:
1. The "Forget-ful" Technique: Simply pretend you meant to forget. Like, just tell yourself that you were always planning on forgetting, and that it's a "thing" you do.
2. The "Distract-O-Matic": Stare intensely at a bright light source for exactly 17 seconds, then look away. Repeat as necessary.