Technique 5: Mastering the art of doing nothing.

Step 1: Find your favorite pillow.

Step 2: Place it on the floor, preferably on top of a pile of dirty laundry.

Step 3: Sit on it, and let your mind wander into the depths of your couch potato-filled subconscious.

Step 4: As you drift off into a state of near-nirvana, remember: you are not lazy, you're just on sloth-mode.

Read more about Technique 4: The Art of Napping.

Or, for the truly advanced: Technique 6: The Ultimate Guide to Procrastination.