Doing the Absolute Minimum: A Guide to Sloth Napping 101

Chapter 1: The Art of Doing Nothing

Are you tired of the pressures of modern life? Do you yearn for the freedom to do absolutely nothing? Look no further than Sloth Napping 101, the definitive guide to doing the absolute minimum.

Sloth napping is the art of achieving maximum relaxation by doing the bare minimum. It's a skill that requires dedication, focus, and a strong dislike for effort.

Chapter 2: Techniques for the Utterly Inactive

1. The Ancient Art of Procrastination

Procrastination is a lost art that requires patience, persistence, and a willingness to put off anything that requires actual effort.

Try it: stare intensely at a blank wall for hours, then declare victory and take a nap.

2. The Joy of Binge Watching TV

A good sloth napper never gets up from the couch, and a great sloth napper never changes the channel.

Try it: find the most mundane show on TV and watch it for 12 hours straight, declaring "I'm not lazy, I'm just really invested."

3. The Ancient Art of Eating Cereal for Every Meal

Sloth nappers know that breakfast for lunch, dinner, and snack time is the key to true happiness and utter laziness.

Try it: eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and declare yourself a champion of sloth napping cuisine.