The Four Tenets of Sloth-Napping: Tenet 4 - The Art of Opting Out

By the Great Sloth-Napper, Balthazar McSlothface

And now we come to the fourth and final tenet of Sloth-Napping: The Art of Opting Out. This is not just about saying no, it's about saying no with style.

Principle 1: The Opt-Out

When faced with a task or commitment, simply say no. Not just no, but NO. With a capital letter and a flourish of the arm.

• Practice your Opt-Out in front of a mirror until you feel comfortable with the word.
• Use it in everyday conversation: "No, I won't be attending the meeting, I'm opting out."

Principle 2: The Art of Misdirection

When someone asks you to do something, divert their attention with a clever excuse or a witty remark.

• "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
• "I'm not avoiding you, I'm just recharging my social battery."

Principle 3: The Power of Procrastination

Put off the task or commitment by doing something more enjoyable.

• Watch cat videos, read a book, or play video games until the task is forgotten.
• Take a long, leisurely walk, preferably with a snack in hand.

Principle 4: The Sloth-Napper's Secret Weapon - The "I'll Get To It Later" Technique

When faced with a deadline or commitment, simply say "I'll get to it later" and walk away.

• Repeat this phrase whenever necessary until the other person gets the hint.
• Practice your delivery in front of a mirror, as with the Opt-Out.

Sloth-Napping is not just a skill, it's an art. Master the four tenets and you'll be well on your way to becoming a true Sloth-Napper.

Back to The Art of Sloth-Napping

Go back to Tenet 1 - The Art of Doing Nothing