Snack Food Emergency Services
Because adulting is hard, and snacks are harder.
Emergency Services
Our Team
- Balthazar McSnackface, CEO (and Chief Snack Officer)
- Jane Doe, Snack Therapist
- Bob Johnson, Snack Lawyer
- Dr. Emily P. Sausage, Snack Nutritionist
Our Services
- Snack Counseling: We'll help you work through the emotional trauma of an empty chip bag.
- Snack Delivery: We'll deliver snacks right to your doorstep, because adulting is hard.
- Snack Helpline: Call us at 1-800-SNACK-1 for a snack-related crisis hotline.
- Snack Food Court: Where we settle snack-related disputes and serve snacks.
- Crusty Justice: Our team of lawyers will fight for your right to a full stomach.