Incident Summary:
On 2023-02-27, at approximately 14:30, a rogue Dorito's bag was spotted on the premises. The snack's irregularly-shaped tortilla chip pattern caused widespread panic among the office population.
Initial response team deployed, consisting of 3 trained snack security specialists. Situation stabilized after 17 minutes and 14 seconds of intense negotiation with the snack.
Key findings:
- Snack was deemed a high-risk item due to its potential to induce excessive salivation among employees.
- The snack's irregular shape caused difficulties in determining its exact origin, leading to a thorough review of the break room's trash cans.
- Snack was successfully relocated to a secure storage unit, pending further investigation.
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