Welcome to the Doritos Recovery Program, because let's be real, you've probably eaten too many bags of Nacho Cheese Doritos in your lifetime. Our program is here to help you wean yourself off the crunchy, cheesy goodness and into a healthier, more productive life.
Our methods involve a 5-stage process: Phase One: Denial, Phase Two: Anger, Phase Three: Bargaining, Phase Four: Depression, and Phase Five: Acceptance.
We'll guide you through the process, one bag of Fritos-free days at a time. Don't worry, we won't judge you. (Much.)