The 5 Ways to Get Even More Splendor
By: Splendorius Maximus, Lord of the Sparkles
Ah, dear seeker of splendor, are you tired of merely existing in a world of dull, uninspired mediocrity? Do you yearn for a life of unbridled joy and unrelenting sparkle? Look no further, for we have compiled the definitive guide to achieving the ultimate state of splendor!
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1. Throw Caution to the Wind (and Paint Your Room Pink)
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2. Build a Fountain of Liquid NAPALM (because who needs water when you can have fire)
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3. Invent a Language of Unicorns and Unicorns (because words should be colorful)
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4. Host a Party of Unicorns, Rainbows, and Fairy Dust
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5. Build a Portal to Another Dimensional Splendor (because why settle for just one world)