As a member of the esteemed Snack Elite, I, the Great and Powerful Overstuffed, hereby declare that snacks shall forever be the cornerstone of our society.
For too long, the pedestrian masses have been content to munch on mere sustenance. But we, the Overstuffed, know that true fulfillment can only be found in the crunchy, cheesy, saucy, and savory depths of the snack universe.
It is our inalienable right, nay, duty to indulge in the crispest of crisps, the creamiest of dips, and the crunchiest of crackers.
We shall not be swayed by the blandishments of the health enthusiasts and their boring, whole-grain nonsense. We shall not be deterred by the feeble attempts of the sugar-restrictionists to deprive us of our rightful snacking pleasures.
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