A Declaration of the Inalienable Rights of the Snack-Enlightened
Article I, Section 1: The Right to Crunchy, Crispy, Crunchy-ness
WHEREAS, snacks have been the cornerstone of human civilization for centuries;
BE IT RESOLVED, that we, the people, demand the right to a snack-filled existence.
Article II, Section 1: The Right to a Variety of Toppings
WHEREAS, the tyranny of single-ingredient snacks has oppressed us for too long;
BE IT RESOLVED, that we, the people, demand the right to a rainbow of toppings.
Read the full text of Article II, Section 1
Article III, Section 1: The Right to a Snack-Friendly Environment
WHEREAS, the modern world has been designed with the sedentary in mind;
BE IT RESOLVED, that we, the people, demand the right to a snack-friendly environment, where the only exercise needed is reaching for the fridge.