We are currently operating at 100% capacity, with 50% of our employees on a 3-day workweek, and the other 50% on a 4-day workweek. Because of course, that's exactly what we needed.
Our rotation schedule is designed to maximize productivity while minimizing sanity. We're not sure how much longer we can keep this up, but hey, someone's gotta do it.
Our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated specialists are working around the clock to meet our demanding deadlines. And by "clock" we mean "whatever the clock says we can get away with."
So, what's the plan for today?
Well, let's just say it's a real treat. You'll be working on Project "Whatever" with John, and "The Never-Ending Report" with Jane. Because, why not?
Don't forget to take a break! We have a fully stocked snack bar, filled with the finest "whatever-we-have-in-the-pantry" delights. Because, let's face it, you're gonna need it.
And don't worry, we'll be here all night. Because that's just what we do.