In the vast expanse of the condimental multiverse, there exists a delicate balance between the ketchup, the mustard, and the mayonnaise.
The ketchup, with its rich, velvety texture, represents the Platonic ideal of condimental existence: the ultimate, unifying force that brings flavor and joy to all who consume it.
The mustard, with its pungent, fiery essence, embodies the Heraclitian flux of the condimental realm: ever-changing, always adapting, and often explosive.
And the mayonnaise, that creamy, dreamy substance, symbolizes the Aristotelian telos of the condimental journey: the ultimate purpose, the raison d'être, the raison de tout.
Together, these three condiments form a holy trinity, a condimental ontology that governs the cosmos and guides us towards the ultimate condimental truth.
Or, you know, maybe they just go well on a burger.
Ontological Ontology: The Ontologist is a Joke Condiments and the Meaning of Life