The Ultimate Guide to Beach Club Snobbery

Chapter 1: The Snob's Guide to Selecting the Right Beach Club

As a connoisseur of all things luxurious, you know that not all beach clubs are created equal. In fact, some are downright plebeian. So, how do you separate the wheat from the chaff? Look for these key indicators:

• Private cabanas with personalized concierge service
• Champagne cocktails served in designer glasses
• Private cabana beds with Egyptian cotton linens
• A strict dress code (no rags allowed)

And don't even get us started on the importance of a good beachside buffet.

Chapter 2: The Snob's Guide to Beach Club Etiquette

Don't be that guy who shows up in pleated shorts and a faded t-shirt. No, no, no. Here's a quick primer on how to comport yourself like a dignified beach clubber:

1. Arrive fashionably late
2. Order a drink with a French accent
3. Avoid eye contact with commoners
4. Tip your cabana attendant with a generous smile (and a $20 bill)

And whatever you do, don't be that guy who gets too much sun. Your skin is a canvas, not a canvas bag.

Chapter 3: Snobbery in the Wild

Snobbery in the Wild: A Beach Club Survival Guide

Avoiding the Unavoidable: Encounters with Real-Life Snobs

You know, the kind of person who shows up at the beach club in a Speedo and a fanny pack. Or, worse, a neon tank top. Don't be that guy.

Chapter 2: Dealing with the Unbearable: When Snobs Get Too Comfortable

• When a snob starts talking about their 'private island'
• When a snob insists on ordering for you (and you're stuck with the check)
• When a snob won't stop talking about their 'art collection'

Stay vigilant, stay calm, and for the love of all things stylish, stay hydrated.

Chapter 3: Escaping the Snobbery Trap

Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, you find yourself trapped in a sea of snobs. Don't worry, friend. Here's how to make a quick exit:

1. Excuse yourself to the powder room (it's a long story)
2. Call for a 'ประก emergency' (code for 'I'm out of here')
3. Blame it on a 'family emergency' (code for 'I'm not made of money')

And remember, if all else fails, just pretend you're a famous artist and you're 'researching material'.