Quantum Hazemystic Training: The Overstuffed Edition

Warning: This course is for the faint of heart and the faint of brain. Quantum Hazemystsics is not a real thing, but if it were, it'd be this crazy.

Join us for the most intense, most bewildering, most utterly bewildering journey into the heart of Quantum Hazemystic madness!

Course DescriptionOur course covers the basics of Quantum Hazemysticism, including:

• Quantum Hazemystic Theory: A crash course in hazemystic wavefunctionery and hazemystic particle physics.
• Hazemystic Energy Manipulation: Learn how to harness the power of hazemystic energies to do... well, we're not entirely sure what you'll be able to do, but it'll be something.
• Quantum Hazemystic Meditation: Find your inner hazemystic and unlock the secrets of the universe... or maybe just relax and have a snack.

Our instructors are certified Quantum Hazemysts and have spent years studying the art of hazemystic warfare.

Cost: 5000 dollars, plus a signed waiver and a promise not to sue.

Duration: 3 days, or as long as you can handle the existential dread.

Location: The depths of your own sanity.

Prerequisites: A strong stomach, a weak mind, and a love of absurdity.

Hyperlinks:

• Hazemystic Theory: The Basics
• Hazemystic Relaxation Techniques
• Hazemystic Warfare 101: The Art of Not Losing Your Mind