Whereas, in the interest of national unity and snack-filled prosperity, we the people of Snacktopia do ordain and establish this declaration of rights.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all humans are created equal, and that all humans are born with an innate love for snacks.
Article II: The Right to be Stuffed at Will
We, the people of Snacktopia, believe that the right to be stuffed at will is a fundamental human right, and we shall not be denied the freedom to stuff ourselves silly.
Article III: The Right to Free Snacks
We, the people of Snacktopia, believe that all citizens shall have access to free snacks, and that no one shall be denied their rightful portion of chips and dip.