A: It's a nuclear-powered instant noodle dispenser that's about to blow.
Q: Is it safe?
A: Not really. It's not even a little safe. It's not safe at all.
A: Press the red button and pray for the best. If you survive, congratulations! You're a winner!
Q: Can I use it to cook real food?
A: Ha! You want to cook real food? How boring. You want to cook ramen, of course. It's the only way to live.