SNOBBERY 101: THE PRETENTIOUS PRETZEL

A Guide to Pretentiousness, for those who insist on being so.

Chapter 5, Subsection 2: The Pretentious Pretzel

As a seasoned snob, you're probably familiar with the concept of a good pretzel. But do you know the difference between a pretzel and a pretentious pretzel?

It's a matter of degree, my friend. While a pretzel is just a pretzel, a pretentious pretzel is a pretzel that's been imbued with a sense of superiority. It's a pretzel that says, "I'm not just a pretzel, I'm a statement."

And that, my friend, is where we come in.

Here's a step-by-step guide to creating the perfect pretentious pretzel:

1. Start with a good, sturdy pretzel recipe
2. Add a dash of pretzel philosophy
3. Top with a sprinkle of pretzel ostentatiousness
4. And voila! Your pretentious pretzel is served.

Conclusion

So there you have it. With these simple steps, you too can create your own pretentious pretzel. And when you do, remember: it's not just a pretzel, it's a statement.

Join the Pretzel Society for a pretzel-themed discussion group